Primordial Soup   We all took a camping trip to mark the beginning of summer – eight friends, three cars, two surfboards, two ounces, and one dog. There was a year left of school and most of my friends were planning to go back. Andrew had an apprenticeship at the grain terminal on the harbour […]

When my alarm went off my eyes flicked straight open. I’d only been in the shallows of sleep. I’d been dreaming that I was going through my morning routine: fixing breakfast, showering, picking through drawers for a clean shirt. I shook the dream off and got out of bed to go through the same motions. […]

He needed to look at the inside of my eyes, so he used a kind of dilating eye drop that made my pupils widen and my eyes sting. Then for another test, requiring that he prod the surface of my eyeballs, numbing drops. My eyes felt overlarge and somehow misshapen when I emerged. My dilated […]

There is this morning waking moment – maybe long, or else instantly gone – When the body’s inside bits are at rest and the world is infinitely manageable.   It sets in, though. Insistent in the background of things like a generator hum, a hollowed out space below the ribs pulsating. Fingers quivering and restless. […]

Yesterday someone asked me if I believed I’d figured out the narrative of my life yet. Just casually. Conversationally. He got talking about his and then changed the subject in a familiar fashion, so I didn’t get to answer. But this afternoon – walking through the gently slanted sun with my arms full of a […]

His mouth was dry and soft. He tasted like rainwater. We fell asleep in a warm tangle on the mattress on the floor. When I woke the air was freezing and in the clear morning light I could see the garden through the smeary window. It was an overgrown jumble of dull green ferns and […]

I have lived for years in awful, ugly houses where nothing worked and the very structure seemed sometimes to want to cause me harm. And I wasn’t bothered. So how am I so constantly and profoundly uncomfortable in this perfectly serviceable body I inhabit? I remember the first time I realised that my body was […]